Too old to write a letter to Santa? Think again. You’re never too old to
pen your list of demands to the Big Guy write a letter to good ole St. Nick.
But what does a Millennial’s letter to Santa really look like? You’re probably not asking for rollerblades or a shiny new bike this year. And let’s be honest, you already have more electronics than you know what to do with. So what does your inner Millennial really want under the tree this year?
If you’re anything like all of the Baby Boomers and Gen Xers really believe you are, your letter might look a little something like this.
Note: Best read in a Valley girl accent.
I know a lot of people my age don’t believe in you — but don’t they know that the longer they believe in you the more presents they get?? I don’t know about Chad in IT, but last time I checked non-profits don’t exactly pay enough to pass up free gifts. Am I right? While we’re on the subject, maybe you could pass out a few more of those Science Girl Barbies and a few less Polaroid cameras this year. If you want more girls making the big bucks, better start ’em young.
On a related note, I wouldn’t pass up a Polaroid camera if you need to get those off your hands anyway. Yes, I know have an iPhone with the dual camera and portrait mode capability. But it’s not the same. I want to be like vintage, okay?
More than anything, I would like a giftcard to Chipotle. Do you know how hard it is to eat well on a budget? No, I don’t want cash. Then, I have to wrestle with the choice of Chipotle or going to Cub and making food for myself. I get it. If I go to the grocery store I could have four meals for the price of one Burrito bowl with guac. I don’t want to have to make these types of decisions. It’s just too stressful. And my spirit guide/life coach says I really need to clear all stressful decisions from my life.
But seriously, all I really want for Christmas is snow. I want it to look like a true Winter Wonderland. Ideally, it would still be snowing by the time I’m done doing my hair and makeup. What? I desperately need a new cute pic on Instagram. Can you hook a girl up, St. Nicky?
XX, Miss Millennial
See, there’s tons of stuff you could ask Santa for this year. There’s only one problem. You can’t send your letter over text or Instagram DMs. You see, once upon a time, people used this thing called snail mail. And it turns out, the only way to really get a letter to
your parents’ house The North Pole is via USPS. But don’t give up. After all, you’re a Millennial, and if there’s one thing we’re willing to work really hard for — it’s free stuff.
Sincerely, though, I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!