So you both swiped right.
This generally means that you both agree the other one is attractive–or at least you wrote a decent bio. Aziz did a lot of research about the use of online dating, including Tinder. For those of you who don’t know it is an app to find singles in your area. You upload a few pictures and a little bio. Then you swipe through profiles of people in your area (or a little farther away depending on you “Discovery Settings”). You swipe right if you like the other person and left if you aren’t interested. So if you both swipe right, you “match”, which generally shows mutual interest. While the process of swiping is simple, what comes next is more complicated.
So you are getting strange messages.
Online dating is weird. Aziz has an entire section dedicated to what he calls “The Modern Bozo.” This guy doesn’t act like a normal human being, because he can hide behind a screen. He doesn’t treat messaging like he would a normal face-to-face encounter. He’s a freak. The thing is there is a fine line between being strange and being creepy or gross. I’m not sure what is more concerning: the fact that they are sending crazy messages or the fact that they would be interested in someone who replied to these messages.
So you are texting.
So you are ready to DTR.
So you are considering an open relationship.
Related story: One example from Modern Romance was of a woman that told her husband he could cheat as long as she never suspected a thing, and if she ever asked about it, he had to tell the truth. On a trip to Hawaii for her birthday she decided to ask him, and he responded by telling her that she probably didn’t want to ask this on her birthday. But she insisted. He admitted he had been with 26 other women–they had only been married 13 months. Needless to say the marriage didn’t last very long after that.
So you are losing interest.
So you are reading articles like, “Why You Need Puppies, Not Boyfriends” or “9 Reasons Why Guacamole Is Better Than a Boyfriend.”
Modern Romance was one of the best books I have read in a while. Aziz’s book says way more than I could ever try to cover, but I wanted to share my interpretations of his book mixed with my own experiences and other readings. My hope is that as you continue navigating the dating scene you are more conscious of the role that technology is playing in your relationships (or potential relationships). Whether you are seeing someone who acts different in person than text or just reading a lot of articles about dating, consider that technology is most likely affecting your perceptions of dating in many ways.
***This is might not be a real vetted statistic, but I could go into a room and find at least 6 girls waiting for a guy to text them back.