Dear Consumers of Thanksgiving Turkey,
I’ve been doing some research on your tradition of eating my ancestors every November, and the results are pretty fascinating, actually. This has nothing to do with turkey making you tired—in fact, that whole story with words like serotonin and tryptophan is what puts me to sleep. No, the real story is about how much you are really consuming on Thanksgiving.
And what about the other foods that want to be appreciated? Think about the stuffing,
the green bean casserole,
the mashed potatoes,
the sweet potatoes with the brown sugar and marshmallows.
By the time you finish all of these other deliciously fattening foods, do you really need anything more? No, I didn’t think so. So put those turkey basters down. Give Mom and Grandma the year off, and be appreciative that someone’s looking out for your waistline.
The turkey that doesn’t want to be your dinner.